Posts

外國人: Are you being microaggressed?

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                    外國人: Are you being microaggressed? The Monkey doesn't like being looked at like that. It makes it feel "othered," you species-ist bigots! Another worn out staple of expat online discussions is the "problematic positionality"* of being referred to by locals as "foreigner." Any posts on the subject descend into expressions of outrage at how they and foreigners in general will never be accepted here. The following is my 2NTD response to the cry bullies. * Postmodern bullshit term courtesy of Laurier university and Goolag  Taiwan: Where the bicycles should come with trigger warnings. Note on the current crop of foreigners I have to just make the general observation that, as Taiwan has gotten easier than ever for westerners to live in, there seems to be an increased sense of whiny entitlement among newly arrived foreigners. Perhaps it is just my impression... or perhaps it is millennials:...

Are Taiwanese Girls Easy (or are you)?

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Are Taiwanese Girls Easy (or are you)? It has got to be one of the most over-done tropes on the internet: the age-old question of whether or not the local girls are easy. Blogs and YouTube videos with click-bait titles abound on the topic and it's been a contentious topic among expats for years. I thought I would offer the OldHand take on matter. Certainly, it's no secret that the average western guy will find he has a lot more attention here on our shores than in the west. Exoticism is still an aphrodisiac, it seems. Name of the motel is the Yi Jia Yi Motel, "Yi Jia Yi" being a homophone for 1+1 in Mandarin. Love motels often cum (oh my!) with appropriately punny names. Indeed, I have witnessed western guys with complicated love lives for quite some time. I've known quite a few guys who've juggled multiple relationships at the same time. Some were even married. They seem to view themselves as desirable, occidental Right Said Freds (too sexy) in t...

Old Hand Answers Hate Mail... or Expat Robinson Crusoe Theory Confirmed

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Old Hand Answers Hate Mail... or Expat Robinson Crusoe Theory Confirmed Phone Ninja is going to express her dissatisfaction on the Internet Anyone who has spent any amount of time in Taiwan expat online spheres knows that it contains a real mixed bag of characters. Some are nice, helpful people. Others are mostly neutral. Still others put their mental issues on display for all to see. You know you've stirred up the snowflakes in the latter category when you start receiving 'triggered' responses in the comments. Of course, in the Taiwan expat world, those responses are also going to be colored by the delusions and generalized weirdness that only comes from our unique "community." Without further ado, I'll post some excerpts from love letters I received from those special individuals (actually, they are often from one particularly troubled soul) who thought my descriptions of expat Robinson Crusoe types were perhaps a little too close to home. Link fo...

Expat Robinson Crusoe Syndrome

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Expat Robinson Crusoe Syndrome (*Thanks for the compliments on my photography. Apart from memes and PRC propaganda, all photos are mine.) "Will you walk into my parlour?" said the spider to the fly. No, this photo has nothing to do with the topic. Talk to the fangs. One of my favorite phrases used to describe expat behaviour is Robinson Crusoe Syndrome. I first saw it in an old-school travel book about Taiwan. It describes how some western expats seem to view themselves as some sort of castaways on an exotic land, meeting exotic men and women Fridays and having experiences only they can relate to others. Yes, some expats act as if they are on an exotic adventure to an exotic land with exotic primitive people who only they can decipher. In reality, Taiwan is a destination for thousands of western expats. Many have been here for decades. Taiwanese themselves are a modern, technologically savvy people and Taiwan has to be one of the easiest countries in Asia...

Green, Green Tangerine!

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Green, Green Tangerine Stacks of Goodness So my favourite time of year has arrived. Well, perhaps not my fave weather-wise, but certainly for fruit. They're called 椪柑 [peng4gan1]. Scientific name: Citrus poonensis; common names are Chinese honey orange or simply tangerine (or a variety thereof). They are quite possibly the best fruit I have ever tried, certainly the best variety of orange.  Green on the outside, orange on the inside   They come out around late October in Taiwan. You'll notice them; they look like unripe oranges picked too early. But they're not. Their green exteriors belie their very much ripe and very much tasty interiors. Pulling one in half you'll see orange flesh, which contrasts strongly with the lime-green rind.  Critics agree: peng gans get two thumbs up In the taste department, they're unbeatable. Some people don't like the early crop of these gems. They say they're too sour. Not so, in my humble opinion...

Regressivism Among Foreigners in Taiwan

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Regressivism among foreigners in Taiwan Persimmons drying in the sun in Xinpu Expats in Taiwan are, as a group, overwhelmingly left-leaning. This is not surprising nor is it new, as it’s no secret that many westerners come to Asia to put otherwise useless liberal arts degrees to use. Anyone familiar with western universities knows that Arts and Social Science departments tend to engender liberal perspectives in their students. This on its own does not bother me. Moderates on either side of the political center, I find, can be reasonable people. We're not all Archie Bunker, after all What does bother me, however, is rampant political correctness and extremes of group identitarianism. Even when I left it, my country was already becoming enamored with PC. When I arrived in Taiwan, it was actually a breath of fresh air, especially coming from the sometimes-confining climate of the west. People here just speak their minds without the “avoid offense” filters...

Beware of Fellow Foreigners Peddling their (used) Wares

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Beware of foreigners peddling their (used) wares! A Tsou aboriginal woman in Alishan wearing traditional clothes What foreigners don't know can cost them Newly arrived foreigners are at a significant disadvantage. They lack experience in their new home, they often lack language and cultural skills and they lack local knowledge generally. This is a recipe that can lead to being taken. What follows is a sort of a warning for expats to be wary of their fellow expat, when it comes to buying things or business dealings. A pagoda located near Shimen Dam in Taoyuan One phenomenon I've noticed over the years is the tendency for expats to overcharge for things they want to sell. I think there may be a few reasons for this. The first is probably that when expats sell up to go home, they want to "cash in" their material possessions that they accumulated during their stays in Taiwan for money to fund their trips home and to get started there. So, all manner o...